is tibet free? am I free?

Wow,amazing! why cant indian airports be so chic? When i landed at Lhasa airport with the group, I was awestruck with the simplicity and cleanliness.But Indian airports are getting there now. Goggar airport is situated more than hour out of the main city. In the middle of mountains is this structure and its just quite state of the art. Moving to Lhasa, mixed emotions running through my mind.Phase 1 is still underway and now crossed the first part of phase 1 in Kathmandu.Will I be able to handle the groups expectations? Will my health be up to it? Will I be able to do the parikrama on foot? What will happen on 26 July at the visa office? so many thoughts and such a small me. Take one day at a time. Its easier this way. Decision made.
Over the three days in Lhasa, visited the Potala Palace, which was the palace of the Dalai Lama before the Cultural Revolution in 1959. What amazed me about the palace was that even though the Chinese took over Tibet, they have been pacca businessmen and converted it into a tourist spot. What shocked me about the facts was when our guide told us the horrific stories. Out of 6000 monasteries, only 20 remained. The monasteries such destroyed were made into roads and citizens were told to walk on them. Just imagine, someone breaks my temple and makes a road outside my house and forces me to walk on it? I didn't react to it and just ignored the thought. But now while I type this blog, it makes me think.All the monks were either killed or jailed. Very few made it to India.
On the other hand, Lhasa was a delight. Nice big roads, great buildings, modern vehicles, all very state of the art. Even visited the rail station which had a platform bigger than all 4 platforms of churgate station put together. Money pumped in by the China govt., is well spent no doubt about that. But the question is - DO THE TIBETANS WANT THIS CHANGE?
A story about Akbar and Birbal was told. Once a child with an over sized coat and a middle aged man with a coat barely covering his chest walked into the darbaar of Akbar. Seeing the apparent disparity, Akbar asked Birbal - being a just king, I think that I should ask the boy to exchange his coat with the man's. Birbal stopped him by saying- King you cannot change anyones fate and destiny. The man is not asking for help and the boy is lucky to have the big coat. What this means is that the Tibetan's were happy and contended with their state of living. They did not ask for a change. This is what is a disturbing trend in todays world. Give help when asked for. Don't impose yourself on others. This makes me take a step back and look at myself. Have I been a self imposing 'helper'. Do I help even when its not required. Its the play of the ego that makes me want to prove that I am capable, I am in a state of higher power, hence want to impose that power even if its not asked for. The help is just a manifestation of power in this case. Think before you act. You could be imposing yourself on others.THINK!
Am I really free? Or are also bound by the powers of the ego? Does it guide your everyday actions. Am I in a state like Tibet? Am I being overpowered by the ego? Am I living a choice less existence? Do I even realise it? The ego provides me the state of the art facilities, but my roots and values are what I really should want. Can there be a balance? The answer to all is YES. Writing this makes me realise that I am to a certain extent living under that command of the ego. I gives me a lot of benefits, but deep down, does the atman require this? If permanent happiness is what I seek, then all the external objects just are a waste of time. Think Rishi, think! Start this thought process now. Permanent happiness should be the goal. This is what I will ask Lord Shiva at Kailash. My yatra has now started.