90 days counted

When I arrived at Madrid airport there was no thought. Not because I have transcended the thoughts but because I was pre-occupied in my mind about getting to Sam's house on time and my luggage coming out safely.

Now, almost a month after getting here, there are some thoughts which I am blogging down (guess this will be a new term, like penning down - blogging down will be used often)

There are phases which come in ones life and teach them things which leave a big impression. These impressions become part of the decision process and ultimately shape your destiny. When I was explaining to Sam and Domen about the Karma cycle and why all our actions and therefore reactions shape our destiny, it was a self learning too. I am now going to make all my actions and reactions count. I will shape my destiny the way I want it to.

There was the phase before coming here of anticipation and hope. Now there is the phase of challenges and competition. Soon there will be a phase of achievement and contention. Take it one step at a time. Enjoy each phase as it comes. Don’t run to it. It will come at its own time.

I love the city already. Now that I’m settled in and enjoying the chill out period before school starts, I will probably start visiting the close by cities like Toledo and Segovia which are rich in Spanish culture. There is a buzz in the city which reminds me of Mumbai. The people are fast and always on the move. The metro is good and is important for a big city. Mumbai needs one quickly. When my batch mates ask me where I am from, I tell them Bombay. They are quick to ask – is Mumbai and Bombay the same? India is on the world map. There is a definite underlying reason for everyone to know about India. This makes me wonder why I came here in the first place.

IE is one of the premier institutes of the world and my education would only propel my career to greater heights, but there are reasons which was not known to me when I decided to come here. Some are revealed to me now.

We take so many people for granted and love them at our own will, when they love us with no reason. My parents! They are the one reason why I would consider myself successful and happy. They have done all they could to make me a master of my destiny. They are my source of strength and happiness. I could not have asked for better parents and better siblings. How much I have gained from them is impossible to put down on this blog. Now moving away from them after all the years since birth makes me realize how much I miss them and owe to them. The good thing is that Priya is there. She’s such a help and a support. We talk everyday, more than we ever spoke in the last 15 years after her wedding. Thank you God.

The other thing is that I am lucky to be at the right place at the right time. There is so much of talk and interest in India at the moment that it would be foolish not to consider coming back to India soon. This idea has been given more fuel after getting here and getting so much attention and interest from the people I have interacted with. Just because I come from India. Get some international work experience before heading back to India to make the further work totally international. This understanding of how the global businesses work will give you a lot of edge in the future. Keep at it. The Financial Times keeps on publishing stories from India. India has arrived on the world map and how! I’m glad. Also they all love Bollywood. Its funny but true. I even taught a lot of them to dance with the jhatkaas and matkaas at the brunch at home last weekend. It was good fun.

I used to wonder why I do not get repaid for the ‘good’ that I do to society and don’t get rewarded for the good deeds I do. This was a total revelation to me when I met Sam for the first time. He happens to be a junior from JNS and that was a sure ice breaker. He was kind to let me stay in his house for 10 days and it was sheer coincidence (but maybe planned by Him) that his room mate was also out of town for exactly the same period. I would call that a perfect calculation. How I would jump to conclusions earlier. Fool!

There are many many people who you would know but there are few you can count as friends. They stay with you even if you go far away. This is what makes them friends. Though we are miles apart, there is so much love and respect for each other. I know I can count on them. That sense of security one gets only after spending hundreds of hours knowing each other. I’m sure they know that too. Whichever part of the world we are, we are there for each other. God has his own ways to make me realize these things. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. True.

There is the power of thought and prayer. SS had told me to do the Hanuman Chalisa every day. I do it. It’s His grace that my loan for the fee and living has been granted. I am so relieved and happy. Guru krupa is more important than any other blessing in the world. He takes care of you.

This is only the beginning of the phase. There will be lot more coming your way. Brace yourself and also enjoy yourself. You life is NOT depended on it. You are free and happy. If you attach more importance than is needed, it will become an obsession. I know from the past that any obsession is a sure recipe for disaster. Keep your cool and remain composed. Go out there and excel. That’s what you here for. I am glad I chose IE. The fantastic array of students from all over the world excites me. Suddenly I know people from 50 countries all over the world.

I can’t wait for the school to begin.

Inspiration

In pursuit of happiness - the movie was very inspiring. Perseverance was the key factor there. Inspite of all the odds and getting down in the dumps time and again, this man just stood his ground and kept pushing himself till he got there. WOW.
Here I am, sitting in Sam's house in Madrid, got almost all the things I need, and still wondering where am I headed from here. Just before watching this movie, the direction I needed for my MBA was kind of vague. Now, the need for direction has become so intense that I will spend time with myself on this. Introspection on whats best for me and how do I achieve it. In my mind I have to draw a map and make the roads. Think of the obstacles and remove them in the mind itself. Swami Mitrananda's advise is so useful here. Spend this time now. You have many hours till school starts. So get up and get going. Once the direction is there be focused and make the right moves. Just one year will make or break my future. You have no one to answer but yourself. Don't let yourself down. Decide what you want to do and just do it. Make it happen. Make it count.

Ganpati Bappa Moriya

When someone asks me what is the power of God and have you seen it, what I can only tell them is that till you experience it yourself, whatever others may tell you, you will not truly believe that God exists. When the chips are down is when I remember him with all the force of the world. And why not. Kunti had asked Krishna to give her a little pain everyday so to remember HIM all times. My faith also had its conditions and was very upset that inspite of the 'conditional' faith, I was not getting what I wanted. Then after discussing with my closest friend, I realised that i was being so conditional in the faith I have. I am not truly surrendering to HIM. This was the real cause of the pain and mental torture I was going through. Thats when I snapped out of the illusion that I am doing anything and I can control all the things in my life. Surrender was the only way to keep the mind peaceful.
To leave on 19 september was conditional that I get my visa much before. By the time it was 13 september, I cancelled my ticket to Spain. Mom had told me that since I would not be here on 19th September for the Ganpati visarjan (5th day), she didn't want to keep Ganpati at home, a tradition we had kept for over 30 years. Now with the decision not to go, I immediately told Mom to get Ganeshji home. I even stopped calling the embassy now and resigned to the fact that when they have to call, they will. On Saturday 15 September, the Lord Ganesh graced our house. There was such a sense of peace and happiness. I was glad that we took the decision to bring him home and keep the tradition on. Lots of our friends and relatives came home and it was really nice. Then the miracle happened. Monday evening, again while entering the ashram, I got the news that the visa was through. I was elated if not ecstatic. All the things started to fall into place now.
Now Tuesday was the only day I had to go to Delhi and return as Wednesday was the visarjan. When the visa officer told me that she will give me the visa the next day, I had to beg and plead her. Not heeding to my requests, I finally told her that I have to return to Mumbai as I had to do the Ganesh visarjan the next day. Magic! She said OK and while returning the passport with the visa stamped, she signed off by saying - Ganpati Bappa Moriya.
What more indication was required that He was controlling these unseen things in my life. Why do I waste so much time thinking and brooding over the fact that I can or cannot do so many things. His grace is there, so now there is no further confusion. When the chips are down in future, I will read this again and get the inspiration and commitment to move ahead.
The last 2 weeks have been the most hectic. It was amazing the amount of work I had to finish. But again by His grace all things worked out very very well. My bosses at Atma Darshan were the most supportive. It was the biggest loss to them but they put my future before theirs as priority and bid me the most lovely farewell. I will truly be missing them.
It was the most beautiful experience to be witness to real miracles from God himself. Now I know why the visa was rejected in the first place - to ensure that my faith in him remains intact. Whatever little doubt that I had, was removed. When I truly gave up the fight and surrendered, it worked like magic. Surrender and flow with the faith. Thats the way to go ahead.