is tibet free? am I free?

Wow,amazing! why cant indian airports be so chic? When i landed at Lhasa airport with the group, I was awestruck with the simplicity and cleanliness.But Indian airports are getting there now. Goggar airport is situated more than hour out of the main city. In the middle of mountains is this structure and its just quite state of the art. Moving to Lhasa, mixed emotions running through my mind.Phase 1 is still underway and now crossed the first part of phase 1 in Kathmandu.Will I be able to handle the groups expectations? Will my health be up to it? Will I be able to do the parikrama on foot? What will happen on 26 July at the visa office? so many thoughts and such a small me. Take one day at a time. Its easier this way. Decision made.
Over the three days in Lhasa, visited the Potala Palace, which was the palace of the Dalai Lama before the Cultural Revolution in 1959. What amazed me about the palace was that even though the Chinese took over Tibet, they have been pacca businessmen and converted it into a tourist spot. What shocked me about the facts was when our guide told us the horrific stories. Out of 6000 monasteries, only 20 remained. The monasteries such destroyed were made into roads and citizens were told to walk on them. Just imagine, someone breaks my temple and makes a road outside my house and forces me to walk on it? I didn't react to it and just ignored the thought. But now while I type this blog, it makes me think.All the monks were either killed or jailed. Very few made it to India.
On the other hand, Lhasa was a delight. Nice big roads, great buildings, modern vehicles, all very state of the art. Even visited the rail station which had a platform bigger than all 4 platforms of churgate station put together. Money pumped in by the China govt., is well spent no doubt about that. But the question is - DO THE TIBETANS WANT THIS CHANGE?
A story about Akbar and Birbal was told. Once a child with an over sized coat and a middle aged man with a coat barely covering his chest walked into the darbaar of Akbar. Seeing the apparent disparity, Akbar asked Birbal - being a just king, I think that I should ask the boy to exchange his coat with the man's. Birbal stopped him by saying- King you cannot change anyones fate and destiny. The man is not asking for help and the boy is lucky to have the big coat. What this means is that the Tibetan's were happy and contended with their state of living. They did not ask for a change. This is what is a disturbing trend in todays world. Give help when asked for. Don't impose yourself on others. This makes me take a step back and look at myself. Have I been a self imposing 'helper'. Do I help even when its not required. Its the play of the ego that makes me want to prove that I am capable, I am in a state of higher power, hence want to impose that power even if its not asked for. The help is just a manifestation of power in this case. Think before you act. You could be imposing yourself on others.THINK!
Am I really free? Or are also bound by the powers of the ego? Does it guide your everyday actions. Am I in a state like Tibet? Am I being overpowered by the ego? Am I living a choice less existence? Do I even realise it? The ego provides me the state of the art facilities, but my roots and values are what I really should want. Can there be a balance? The answer to all is YES. Writing this makes me realise that I am to a certain extent living under that command of the ego. I gives me a lot of benefits, but deep down, does the atman require this? If permanent happiness is what I seek, then all the external objects just are a waste of time. Think Rishi, think! Start this thought process now. Permanent happiness should be the goal. This is what I will ask Lord Shiva at Kailash. My yatra has now started.

phase 1

as i was preparing for the yatra, i was more worried about the arrangements than my own packing. taking that pain killer was a killer as my eyes swelled up. NO! i screamed to myself. you don't even have 12 hrs to leave and your eyes are swollen. pop the avil's non stop. pack pack pack. lots of things to do this evening, drop the bike, meet the boyz and prepare. 55kgs overweight made me drop my own essentials. realised it when i reach kathmandu. (then there is a GOD who intervenes. Norbu, who I just met a couple of days before come to me and gifts me a jacket. i was chilly the whole time and it came as a God send. Thanks Norbu)
when i was awake the whole night as i didnt want to miss my flight, the thought came to me. i am entering the phase 1 of my time here in india. i am going to Kailash Manasarovar. My dream and my life. its finally coming to reality. when i was to go with Swami Mitrananda in May 2005, moms health was not to good to leave her. it was sad at that time. guess one has to wait for the right time to reach HIM. i feel this is the time now. me joining atma darshan and now going to KM was indeed HIS plan. how he does it makes me just surrender to him. why think and waste time. i believe he makes me think only when he wants to. thank GOD!!! making the most of the yatra while taking care of the group is going to be a challenge. what if the group really saps my energies? how will i cope? all these thoughts which were clouding my thinking just evaporated when i met them. Now thinking of it, such a waste of time na. Get set for Phase 1 and make the most of it. you dont know when you will be doing it again. surrender to His feet and He will take care. Consciously or un consciously i am doing just that. i am going to meet Him and with that one thought, things are just flowing. dont need to meditate to know that he is there. writing this is meditation itself.
they say when the chips are down that one turns to HIM. but i turn to Him all times. that does not mean my chips are down all times, it means that He does not let my chips be down at all!
I leave from Lhasa tomorrow for Kailash. This is the yatra I will cherish the most. There are those who will be missed, but they are there for sure.